Wednesday, 13 April 2011

the 1st post

hi, so i am new to the bloggin world. I guess i set this up because at current a million things are going though my head and i can't concerntrate on any given task..... im also very bored!

At current my best friend (ex bf)  is over on leave from the army, we are really close and talk everyday, and have known eachother for years. However this leave he opted to stay with his other friend, i told him i was kool with it and not worried. I lied! It hurt me that he has gone to stay with his other friend, when we arranged to do so many things together during his time off.

My other friends have also decided to stop communicating with me, i dont know if it is something that i have done or if its a coincidence. I feel like a rubbish friend and all i want to do today is curl up and cry. I have been feeling like this alot at the moment, my head has been all over the place and i dont know wat to do from minute to minute.

I have a few assignments that i need to complete for uni, but everytime my friend is on leave, thats all i can think about. Even though i know the likely hood of seeing him this time is slim (even though im hoping he will come to my birthday party), i just cant get him off my mind. I think it hurts more because he is due to go on tour to Afghanistan soon, and is not sure if he will get anymore leave before he is deployed. I know he needs to see his friends, however we have been though a lot together recently and i know the friend he is staying with at current has a habbit of using him for money, i dont want him to get hurt, or end up out of pocket because it will be me that ends up having to sort his money out.